My holiday is not actually finished, but my brain is swimming right now, so I thought I’d expel some brain dross.

Monday, I got out of school early because my night class was cancelled. So I sat down to work on my research. It was slow going until about 9:30. Then I fell asleep. A little after 10pm, I started to work diligently. I finished my first draft of one paper at 5:45am and went to sleep.

Tuesday, I woke up about noon. I took my paper to my TA for a preliminary assessment. When I came home, I worked lazily on my paper. But we went to the home of some friends for dinner and hanging out until fairly late. When we got home, I attempted to start some work but failed.

Wednesday, classes were off for the holiday. I worked intermittently on my second draft and eventually completed it, but not until late.

Thursday, we went to S.B.’s grandparents’ home for lunch/dinner. We were gone most of the day. When we returned at about 8:30pm, we made grilled cheese and tomato soup and watched “Elf”. It was lovely and cuddly. But afterward, I tried to get start on the next paper but failed to focus. I also made a pie.

Friday, today, I got up early to hit the grocery. I quickly made another pie, but S.B. got called to do some work for a freelance project. We were almost an hour late getting to my dad’s place for lunch/dinner. My brother had to leave early for work, so 1. I felt bad about being late and 2. I was hoping to use his leaving as an excuse to leave at a reasonable time so I could whip myself into shape and work on my papers. We were there longer than I expected. I had planned on being home by 5pm, but it was about midnight. Then I made a pie that was a disaster. I have been in a foul mood this evening.

Most importantly, though, I found out tonight that my best friend’s wife had complications with her pregnancy and they lost their baby. I never know what to say when something tragic happens. I’m good for little let-downs, and I’m good for happy announcements. But I don’t think anyone (who has not been trained) knows what to do in this situation. I mean, you feel stupid just leaving big gaps in the conversation and meekly saying “yeah” when they say something, as if you can relate at all. Fortunately, he’s an amazing enough guy that he would ask me about how things were going on my end, so that I could convey light-hearted anecdotes to make him chuckle. I think I talked about how crappy I’ve been on my papers. He’s teaching a class this semester and said he was pretty sure his students were waiting until the last minute to do their papers as well.

We are going out for a movie tomorrow together. I want to give them a big hug, but I’m a bad hugger. I’m awkward if it’s just a good-to-see-ya hug, and if it’s a hug of importance, I may get blubbery. My eyes are watery now, and my face is tensed up in that sort of grimace that stops you from showing a specific emotion, just inexplicit discomfort made obvious my a rumpled forehead. I can tell I’ve been clenching my jaw, because it’s achy and my ears and throat hurt. And I’m beginning to feel the time. I better sleep this off and cheer up.

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