Caltrops & Bongs

So I just watched some movie about Rudolph saving New Years. Weird as hell. Totally drug-induced. Rudolph takes a caveman, Ben Franklin and Don Quixote to ride on a whale to find a lost baby with big ears. Then a giant vulture causes an avalanche and smothers them. But in the end, they are able to “get Happy before the last bong.” Besides what it sounds like, it means they find the baby named Happy and get him back to Father Time before the clock finishes chiming midnight. So wrong.

Had another funny conversation while waiting for the bus. It started out about altering space-time, but then I claimed I could do that, but only one person at a time. I explained that really I alter a person’s perception of space-time, so essentially I *do* alter it. Conversation shifted to complaints about driving and how we need digital marquises to tell people what they are doing wrong. JM wanted to install a system to spew caltrops out of his car. I said that I would want to spew caltrops out of my mouth at will. JM noted that I would need some sort of protective mouth lining from the sharp bits. I said maybe if a just had caltrops pouches in my cheek, like snakes have venom pouches, but then I’d look like some crazy squirrel. I determined that caltrop cheek-sacks of holding was the solution, because then I could also defy space-time. Maybe I should develop that, as my New Year resolution.

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