What did I do in my past life to deserve this?

Why does everything go wrong? Why can’t I have enough money for rent and heat and food? Why can’t I have a car that is reliable? Why can’t I have basic things that so many people take for granted?

Since the week of my 30th birthday, my life has been spiralling out of my control. I give what I can, and then the subsistent remainder is syphoned out of me. I am drained and exhausted.

Why is ease of mind a luxury? Why is it good luck when things don’t go badly? Shoudn’t things, as a default, go they way they are intended to go? And if things go awry then it’s bad luck? I find myself rejoicing in a day without crisis, because it’s all I have. And I don’t even have kids yet…

1 Comment

  1. Laura says:

    I don’t know what you did in your past life. Although Karma is Karma, I don’t know whether it was good or bad or a mix of the 2.